How I Reinvented Myself 2



It’s never too late to be who you might have been.

George Elliot

 

Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d close your eyes and dream of becoming something great?

I believe greatness is in all of us but many of us have shut that down because of disappointment and a whole host of other things that life throws at us.

My dream killers were bucket loads of disappointment,

Fear,

The inability to look up at the bigger picture that was trying to smack me in the head,

As well as deliberately making choices that kept my life safe and small because of fear.

Ok, so last year I reached that milestone age (you know the one, don’t make me say it),

And I did a stock take of what my life looked like five years earlier compared to what it was looking like now.

I’m not going to say to you that by some miracle my life has suddenly metamorphised,

Like a butterfly into something incredible and beautiful and fulfilling…

(Although I can imagine that people on the outside looking in might think it’s like that)

No, the reinvention took place over a number of years,

And came about because of a level of dissatisfaction with what I was experiencing,

As well as a realisation that if it was going to get any better,

Something had to change.

Maybe some of you don’t feel like that,

In which case you can just gloss over this and go on your way.

But I’m talking to those of you who know you were born for a purpose,

And that when you go to sleep at night,

Something isn’t right.

You don’t feel like life’s cutting it.

You are not fulfilled.

You feel like life has been good to others but not to you.

You’ve somehow missed it.

I lived for years in that place.

The daily question:

When is it going to get better?

I wasn’t ungrateful.

It was more than that.

I was locked inside a smaller version of me

And I knew there was potential but couldn’t get it out.

One day I decided that it wasn’t going to stay like that.

How I live now is a result of that reinvention process,

And I wanted to share one of the things that made a difference during that time.

Looking back, the difference between who I was then and who I am now is stark.

So what happened?

A number of things.

Crazy, good things.

But there’s one thing that I know was key to the reinvention process and it was to do with self acceptance and worth.

A story.

I remember when I was little being excruciatingly shy.

I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone and I’d seize up if people spoke to me.

I was put in the corner when I was singing during one particular music lesson because I wouldn’t open my mouth wide enough.

It left me feeling ashamed and like there was something wrong with me.

There has been a shy streak in me that has carried through to my adult life.

People often misconstrue it as snobbiness or indifference,

But nothing could be further from the truth.

Why am I telling you this?

For years I felt ‘less than’ because of my inability to relate the way I wanted to.

I felt like a failure because I couldn’t just ‘get over it.’

I put myself in a box.

I limited who I was because of part of my nature.

And I stayed there.

But here’s the thing.

When you can look at what you perceive as your failures,

Shortcomings,

Imperfections,

Stuff ups,

(Insert what you will),

When you can look them in the eye and accept them and not run from them,

When you can love who it is you are and not hate it,

Then the Reinvention wheels are automatically thrust into full swing.

Your life has a habit of becoming full and satisfying because you are no longer hiding from who you think you should be or what others expect you to be.

 

You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.  Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.

Brene Brown

 

A key is to surround yourself with backers and believers.

The ones who see your imperfection but love you anyway.

Something about that instills courage.

It has the power to either catalyse or stifle your destiny.

Imperfection is not to be feared, but embraced.

Self acceptance and knowing my worth, even amidst my weaknesses,

It was an epiphany for me.

I decided that fear wasn’t worth my attention,

And people who criticised me,

Unless they were in the arena fighting with me and for me,

Didn’t have access to my heart.

I would say one of the keys to reinvention is to find those who See you,

And who love you regardless of what they see.

Out of that place of knowing you are worthy of love and belonging,

You will thrive.

To chuck a cliche in,

Reinvention in large part does start with loving and accepting yourself.

So discover who you REALLY are and don’t be ashamed of it.

Find your backers.

They’re out there.

I believe that you can’t become someone else,

You can’t reinvent from something that wasn’t inside you in the first place.

It has to come from somewhere.

You may not know who it is you want to be yet,

But it’s in you.

Maybe dormant, but it’s there.

It’s so freeing to actually be you.

Not a version of who you think you should be,

But the real you.

I reckon you should try it.

 

Cate x


About Cate Williams

We all have a story and until recently, Cate was happy to keep hers to herself. When she was 6, her singing teacher put her in the corner of the room. The reason, she was told, was that she wasn’t opening her mouth wide enough when she was singing. She was shy and because of that, she was shut up and so she shut down. The day stayed etched in her memory as a painful experience and one that influenced the person she was for years... Many years later, Cate now takes the stage, sometimes in front of thousands of people. Her voice and the songs she writes, have been heard around Australia and the world. Her reluctance to share her story has now been replaced by a realisation that many stories are the same. The isolation and shame that often drives us into feeling like we are alone in our story, is in fact her main motivation when it comes to writing, whether its in music or as a blogger. Many of us struggle with the same issues of trying to make sense of this crazy world and of trying to overcome the voices that tell us we can’t and we won’t. Cate's words resound with hope and love, and her message is one that says you’re not alone and that you can. It calls the ugly beautiful and it brings the hopeless into something redemptive. Cate is a mum, wife, singer, song writer, pastor, teacher and blogger and you can read more about her here. http://www.catewilliams.com.au


2 thoughts on “How I Reinvented Myself

  • Esther Murray

    Yes!! To “find those that See you and love you regardless of what they see”. To accept that my mistakes and imperfections are just part of being human and I still have so much to give.
    Thanks Cate – you are so much my inspiration!! Xxx

  • Sharon

    Thank you so much. Needed to read that at the start of a new year, when I start comparing myself to others, to know that it is about who God has created me to be, and how he uses me to impact and encourage others.

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