I Can Do It Myself! 1



you can do itIndependence Definition: Freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

From the time we are small we hear the cry,  ‘I can do it myself.’ The urge to be independent is strong.

As we get older we still want to do things ourselves. As teenagers we rebel against authority and push against the restraints that teachers, parents and others put on us.

Even as adults, we push others away if they try and tell us what to do. Even if we don’t speak it out, the feeling grows inside.

I think it’s control we steer away from. Often we don’t mind support or help, it’s when that turns into control we struggle.

Can a person be totally independent? Do we really want to be? Often it’s a case of being defensive and of self-preservation when we say we can do life by ourselves.

We need others, but unhealthy dependence is not good either. To give up control of our life to another person may not be safe.

As women we need other women around us to be our friends, cheerleaders and confidants. Dependence on others for love and support is not weakness.

We need to develop that balance in our life. We need to be strong enough to make our own decisions, yet accept help and comfort from our friends and loved ones when needed.

Independent thought and action is great, but so is vulnerability.

We can be strong and confident as well as have a need for friendship and love. That doesn’t make us weak or needy or dependent.

As women, we need to be there for each other and provide a safe place for our friends to fall. We can’t control anyone, but we can be there when needed.

Friends are like walls. Sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it’s good just knowing they are there.  ~Author Unknown


About Elaine Fraser

Elaine realised she wanted to be a writer at ten years of age when the words flew off the page during a creative writing lesson. She studied English and Education at university and went on to spend many years as a high school English teacher teaching others how to write. In 2005, Elaine took the plunge and began writing full-time. Since then she has published five books and blogs at www.elainefraser.co. Elaine’s passion is to write about real issues with a spiritual edge. When she’s not travelling the world in search of quirky bookstores or attending writing retreats in exotic locations, she can be found in the Perth hills sitting in her library—writing, reading, mentoring writers and hugging her golden retriever.


One thought on “I Can Do It Myself!

  • Andrea Morris

    Bethel church in Redding CA,USA posted on facebook today….”If your heart is governed by fear, then much of what you communicate is actually going to be designed to hide what is really going on inside. Many have never been taught how to interpret or translate the language of their own thoughts, emotions and desires into words let alone communicate with others. Come on out from hiding behind a social mask, fear of truth is the great hijacker of communication..”Danny Lee Silk.. My wish for us all Andrea

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