independenceI have been thinking a lot about how others impact the decisions I am making in my everyday.

It is easy to see this struggle in little children. You know the age old scenario when a child says ‘It wasn’t me, they made me do it’.

A blame dance begins as we start to grapple with fitting in, peer pressure and wanting to be liked by another. Our fear of rejection is often based in a place of ‘not wanting to be different from others’ and desperate for belonging.

We are different though. The basis of this fear and threat in all of us, is based in a lie.

We will never be the same as anyone. There is no one on this earth that has the same finger print as us, there is no one who has the same DNA as us.

I have watched this so intimately every day of my life, as I watch my mum, an identical twin grapple with who she is independently of her sister, who in every way looks and speaks and acts just like her.

Independence is not an easy topic because all we want to do is be accepted and have friends. Co-dependence is developed so easily because all of us want to be loved.

Yet we were designed by a Creator who made us unique and gave us free will.

You are not the sum of your friends lives. You are not successful because of how many people call you a friend on facebook.

You are unique and beautifully designed by a Creator that desires a unique interaction with you alone.

We as women need to confront the codependence we have on others and their approval and live the life that you were designed to.

You alone.

The beauty of your unique personality.

You are a gift to this world.

About Amanda

Amanda Viviers Is an Author, Speaker, Creative Consultant and Novice Mum. Author of three books and she can be found most days at her shack close to the beach writing her fourth. She writes daily at and has worked in professional musical theatre. She worked on staff at Riverview for 12 years, mostly in the field of Creative Arts. Finalist in the Telstra Young Business Woman of the year and Community Services Award. She has a Bachelor of Arts majoring in History and Literature and studied Musical Theatre at WAPPA. She is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia and is the co-founder of kinwomen; a network created especially for women. Recent Winner of ‘2013 CMA Best Digital Media Project Award’ for her blog Capture life. She is passionate about social justice and in the past has loved supporting children in the slums of Thailand and Indonesia. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty. She lives a creative life, longing to see people lived inspired.