learning to say no 2

learning to say no

I have found in my life it is often easier to just say yes than say no.

As a mother.

As a friend.

As a lover.

As a mentor.

Lately I have been really aware of how often I say yes to something when I know in my season I should have just said no.

Some call it boundaries, some call it protective behaviour, but for me it’s actually so I can say yes to the things I know I am meant to be focussing on this year.

Yes, to exercise.

Yes, to publishing my next book.

Yes, to time focused on my children and the season that is moving so quickly.

Yes, to my friends who engage and want to be part of my life.


I cannot say yes to these things, important opportunities, if I don’t say no to that which distracts me.

“…there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don’t really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.” Elaine St James

No to long periods of time on social media.

No to worrying about what people think of me.

No to my toddler, even when a melt down is likely to ensue.

Sometimes we get a little stuck and are unable to see breakthrough in our everyday because we are saying yes to the wrong things. Then sometimes we say no to the right things and the opportunities pass us by.

What are you saying yes to, that you know in your heart of hearts that you shouldn’t?

Maybe it’s your season like mine to start saying no a little more, so I can say yes to that which should be my priority.

It actually is our choice.



Ps I have been writing over on my blog during August about the in-between season of life and in September “seeking serenity” love for you to join me over there.

About Amanda

Amanda Viviers Is an Author, Speaker, Creative Consultant and Novice Mum. Author of three books and she can be found most days at her shack close to the beach writing her fourth. She writes daily at www.amandaviviers.com and has worked in professional musical theatre. She worked on staff at Riverview for 12 years, mostly in the field of Creative Arts. Finalist in the Telstra Young Business Woman of the year and Community Services Award. She has a Bachelor of Arts majoring in History and Literature and studied Musical Theatre at WAPPA. She is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia and is the co-founder of kinwomen; a network created especially for women. Recent Winner of ‘2013 CMA Best Digital Media Project Award’ for her blog Capture life. She is passionate about social justice and in the past has loved supporting children in the slums of Thailand and Indonesia. Wife of Charl and Mum of Maximus and Liberty. She lives a creative life, longing to see people lived inspired.

2 thoughts on “learning to say no

  • Aisha

    Amanda I too find it so hard to say no to everyone and everything and a lot of the time it is at the expense of something more significant. I wonder sometimes if my inability to say no is a fear of disappointing. I tend to be a people pleaser and am too focused on keeping others happy even if I’m not.

    • Amanda Post author

      That is me in a nutshell. and also FOMO…Fear of missing out! Learning to change this one day at a time. XXOO

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