Think about what it would feel like if you walked into a room and you happened upon a conversation that was discussing you. Imagine that the conversation was being held by people you knew, really well.
Imagine that in this conversation, it is talked about how you fell short at certain things and that it was emphasised how much you lacked and how inadequate you were.
How would feel?
How would you react?
I know that I would be mortified and then I would get really upset. I might even walk away believing that a part of must be true if the people that know me so well are discussing these things. I am certain that I wouldn’t be confident and able to engage with people very positively after such an experience.
I would be so hurt and it’s hard to love well when we are suffering.
Now consider this,
Imagine what your heart experiences when the internal conversation between your mind is focus on what you lack, on how inadequate you are?
You live with your mind every day and your mind knows your heart very well, I am convinced that we hurt ourselves everyday by the way we think.
Our hearts close up and lose enthusiasm for loving well.
Now imagine the opposite.
You happen upon a conversation where the ones who knew you really well approved of everything about you. With out too much thought, I believe we know that this would bring us crazy amounts of joy and we would probably react with big smiles, happy laughs and giant hugs.
I believe our hearts long for this. Our hearts deserve to hear us approve of ourselves, even when we know to do or be better, our hearts need our own kindness.
“Hey, I have a bit of muffin top going on, thats ok.”
“Hey, you’ve started going a bit grey, thats different but its ok.”
“Hey, you ate cake for dinner, its probably not wise and its not a healthy choice, but its ok for today.”
“Hey, you chose to exercise today, well done.”
We are hard on ourselves and it doesn’t help us.
Maybe the answer actually is support to our hearts, approval for where we are and who we are and encouragement for when try and kindness for where we want to improve.