Not the Sum of Me 2

Recently I wrote an silouette elaineemail of apology to a friend. I apologised for my negativity – the type of negativity that ‘paralyses’ me into in-action and leaves me feeling a little sorry for myself.

As I wrote, I realised that I was apologising for ‘being a negative person’. I was allowing the negativity to consume my being; I was allowing it to own me.

So I changed my wording. I wrote instead, “Although I know it is just a part of me, it is not a part of me that I relish and it is not a part of me that moves forward and grabs opportunities.”

I am so grateful that my mistakes and failures in life are not the sum of me.

They are only one part of who I am and what I do. If I allow them to, I can learn from them and let them shape me, guide me, and grow me, but they do not define me.

As a mother of young children, I often find myself somewhat sleep deprived. As I go about attending to the needs of the day, feeling tired and cranky, I have to remind myself that thankfully this isn’t the end of sleep for me.

Our whole ‘sleep career’ is not defined by one disturbed night or even five. There is always time for more sleep. There is ‘catch-up’ sleep – an extra early night to compensate or an afternoon nap (if one is really lucky) and hopefully a full night sleep tomorrow. Over time the sleep reserves build up again and the energy levels increase.

In the same way our ‘whole person’ is not defined by one failure or even five. We can make amends, we can ask for forgiveness, we can try again, and we can move forward.

Thankfully, we can always start afresh.

Esther Murray

photo: Elaine Faith – Creative Commons


About Esther Murray

Esther is a reader and a thinker and has always loved to write as a way of steering the intensity of thought into the invigorating energy of words. She enjoys exploring her quiet creative side, but also thrives on an animated and passionate conversation. Esther spent her childhood ‘overseas’ and can’t help but be shaped by this depth of experience. She has a Bachelor of Social Work and has a heart for the marginalised. She has a deep desire to see relationships flourish, people encouraged and the spiritual embraced. Esther lives in Perth, Western Australia and is married to Clive. Together they are investing their love and energy into raising their three young daughters.

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