I like to think that I’m cooler than worry and that whatever comes my way doesn’t phase me it all.
This statement could not be further from the truth.
I’m that tall, blonde, wearing a black classic blazer trying to appear somewhat together, but underneath at the depth of my core, I got a million worries pulsing through my body.
Here’s just a snippet of my boring first world worry list from today:
Will that food upset my sensitive tummy?
Will I run out money and not be able to pay my mortgage?
Will I meet an amazing dude that will put up with me enough and wanna marry me?
Will this body I’m in be able to have kids, despite the biological clock?
Will I travel again given I have a massive mortgage?
Will I pass University again or was this third degree a bad decision?
Will this list bore people?
Most of the time I’m fine with my bag of worries and I constantly choose not to look at the bag, but instead step forward into the next moment of my day. If I let it weigh me down I’d probably never leave the house and that definitely wouldn’t pay the mortgage!
Here’s what I know about worry and what I try to do with it.
I pay a little respect to it first.
Good worry is what I like to label as ‘Intuition’ and, according to research women have it in spades.
Sometimes I lend an ear to the red flags of life and I’m thankful they paid me a visit.
Accept there are things you can worry about, but you can’t change them and that’s okay!
Like that dude who might wanna marry me. Yes, I could jump on Tinder and “put myself out there and meet those plenty of fish still swimming in the sea”. But seriously, if they are over the age of 30 and anything like me, they’re probably a bit tired of swimming.
Dating is so exhausting and swiping right on someone’s face isn’t satisfying at all!
So, while I agree you can’t meet someone if you don’t leave the house, my advice is to join a tennis club before signing up to Tinder. Channel my step mums thoughts on the matter, “It’ll happen when the time is right and when you least expect it”. (Flipp’n hope so)
Some advice for the important worries that you can change.
Put some boundaries on your worries. I call them markers and they exist in the internal visual part of my brain.
Sometimes, I’ll write them down in a journal or other times I’ll tell a close friend or a family member what these markers are. At the moment I’ve got markers on the mortgage repayments.
Turns out, owning your first home on a journalist’s wage is a struggle. I have two markers on this one. If the bank account continues to be in the black by October I’ll be stoked. But just to be safe I’ll still sit down with my bookkeeper (aka mum) and revaluate the financials in June. Or if the funds get down to a particular amount I’ll re evaluate straight away.
The opposite of a worry can make way for a surprise
Instead of worrying all the time, let the unknowns of life be little surprises for you. It might not feel like Christmas Day with the surprise gifts under the tree, but I bet if you choose the unique unknown process it’ll turn out better then your bag of worries.
Lastly, my mantra via a wise friend who once said to me, “stop trying to figure everything out”.