the family we choose 2



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I have a very large family, with its strengths and its weaknesses.

A family that gathers weekly, one that I shifted back to the town I grew up in, so that they could be a part of my fledgling families everyday.

One would think that we don’t need anymore family than what we already have, but indeed we do.

I whole heartedly believe that it takes a village to raise a child and we have decided to open our hearts and lives to a group of people to live life accountable too.

These people are the family that we have chosen. One Uncle in particular lives in another country, he grew up in a far away place, but despite the distance he is a part of our day to day.

His name is ‘Uncle Pavel’.

He is a Russian, he loves watermelon, he has the hugest heart, last name Smirnov (like the Vodka) and we adore him.

My little son Maximus, sits at our computer desk and awaits his Skypes with tenderness and anticipation.

My husband Charl met Pavel at the gym and from the moment I met him, my heart swelled a little on the inside.

See to many he is huge; like very tall,  seemingly intimidating, muscly, a Russian.

Many different people have categorised him in many ways through his life, often into boxes that don’t just seem to go away.

The man I adore though, is strong, generous, kind. He is so committed to his friends and often opens his heart and home to people he has only just met to extend hospitality extravagantly.

When you first meet him, you’ll find that he is very quiet, some may think he is withdrawn, a man of few words, but as you get to know him, you see his artistic flare, his love of movies and music and his infallible desire to grow and help people in need.

His work takes him to the ends of the earth, yet he calls his Mum in Russia every single day.

I mean every day.

What grown man calls his Mother everyday, from Kuala Lumpur, Australia, Bangkok, Burma and more?

Every day.

Uncle Pav,

If my son grows up to be half the man that you are, with the generosity and the courage you face in your day to day life I will be one proud mumma.

Dream deep and live large my friend.

You are the family that we have chosen.

See you in Bangkok very soon.

Love Amanda


About Amanda

Amanda Viviers is an Author, Speaker, Creative Ninja, Novice wife and Mum. The author of four books and she can be found most days at her shack close to the beach writing her fifth. She is a presenter on radio across New Zealand and Australia and is the co-founder of Kinwomen; a network that advocates for women globally. From a corporate leadership setting, she unexpectedly found herself at 36 married and a new Mum. From this season of change, her innovative communication style is full of stories about flexibility, strength, self-care and re-establishing your identity in the changing seasons of life. She lives a creative life, helping women find their voice and her greatest joy is to help people live inspired.


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