Trust is built in very small moments. Brené Brown
There have been moments I’ve been trustworthy, and moments I’ve betrayed trust.
There have been moments my trust has been built, and moments my trust has been betrayed.
All these moments add up to a bank account of trust in other people, and in myself.
Our trust account grows exponentially, with compound interest, but when betrayal of trust occurs it brings a crisis. Not only is our original capital of trust taken, but also any growth, and the hope of any future growth is damaged. It can take forever to recoup our trust account. Sometimes we never see that trust again.
Every day presents us with opportunities to build trust, and opportunities to betray trust.
Have you ever participated in a trust exercise where you were blindfolded and led around by others? Or perhaps asked to lean back and fall—to trust you’d be caught?
In Humans of New York a man told a story about when he was a little boy. His father said, ‘Jump I’ll catch you.’
Dad didn’t catch him.
Dad told him, ‘Now never trust anyone again.’
So he never trusted anyone. He never even had a chance to develop even a small trust account. His dad robbed him of it before it even began.
The act of trusting makes us vulnerable and involves love, faith, honour, loyalty, accountability, generosity, reliance, protection, integrity, belief, acceptance, truth, and a whole lot more.
It’s no wonder when trust is broken that we feel so violated.
It’s no wonder when we’ve broken someone’s trust we feel so broken.
Trust is fragile. When trust has been broken it can years to rebuild, regain or renew.
Thirty years of marriage has taught me that broken trust can happen in many small ways. We often think of affairs, gambling, drinking, lying, abuse and so on as the things that break trust and end relationships, however, often it’s the millions of little of things that add up to trust or mistrust.
When you agree to marry someone you agree to trust, and be trusted.
When you promise to be a friend you agree to agree to trust, and be trusted.
Opportunities to trust come in the small moments of life. Each day we have the opportunity to build or betray trust in millions of little ways.
When we choose what is right.
When we choose to protect other’s stories.
When we show up.
When we can be relied upon.
When say yes or no, and stick to it.
These are the building blocks of trust.
These are the moments of opportunity to build or betray trust.
Trust is developed by a consistent pattern of dependable, honest behavior. Rick Miller
Trust is vulnerable and fragile and complicated. Trust is one of the strongest bonds we have with each other.
So my challenge today, in those moments of opportunity to build or betray trust, is to choose to invest in trust accounts. To be the one others trust. Then, I’ll be able to trust myself too.
Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly. George MacDonald