“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
So what happens when life falls apart at the seams when everything you ever knew as normal becomes abnormal when your security is stolen and your core is shaken from a life experience that you never believed would be on the cards for you?
What comes next?
Do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and tell yourself that “someone else out there has it worse, to stop being a baby and get on with life” as you now know it?
Do you fall apart, soak long and deep in the injustice of it all and let your emotions take control as you wallow for as long as you can in the sadness?
Do you comfort yourself with food, and believe that somehow the warmth and delight that comes in eating the food, will eventually outweigh the disgust you feel with yourself every time you look in the mirror and see that expanding body which you will NEVER love staring back at you?
What do you do, what do I do, what comes next?
I can only speak from my own story, having experienced just the type of event I described in the beginning. Next for me was all of the above, all except dusting myself off and getting on with life as I now know it…
Why not is a good question?
I’d say because next is a process, next is just doing at the moment, what the moment allows.
If it means wallowing, then wallow.
If it means being sad, then be sad.
If it means eating, then eat.
But I hope that you will have people in your life that are praying for you, that is honest with you and that care deeply enough for you to carefully let you know that staying here is not an option, and that to tire of these things is also “next”.
Then sometimes, you yourself will tire of being down and you will get up and do something, anything to stop the cycle of grief spiralling downwards like a torrential current tugging you further into mayhem and madness.
Tonight was that night for me, I said “I’m going to get up off the couch and do that 37min of aerobic exercise on that old “Gilad” DVD that is collecting dust in the draw, and after I did it I didn’t feel like reaching for that 8th chocolate chip cookie (True story), this next was the best next I have taken in a long time.
Now “next” for me is to remember that life is always going to surprise me, sometimes good and sometimes really bad, but as long as I know that Gods got my back I am comforted and I know that I’ll be ok.
Next is trusting that there are a greater purpose and plan that comes out of dark and confusing circumstances, and knowing that somewhere along the road of life ahead, the sun will begin to shine again.
What does the next season look like for you?
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien