Those vitriolic words spoken in teenage angst that come back to haunt every mother of a newborn child.
The complexity of generational transition is never more present than in the early stages of novice motherhood.
I find myself doing all the things, I said I wouldn’t and forgetting all of that which I self righteously promised I would.
That sneaky lollypop in the midst of ‘Woolworths’ to distract him from the toy aisle and the ensuing meltdown.
Chicken nuggets in the car seat as we rush off to another appointment in my overstuffed calendar.
Words that just fall out of my mouth, as I roll my eyes with exhaustion at the end of my rope.
The fifth time in a week that I wake up, trying to remember ‘Did I actually brush my teeth last night, before I tipped over into bed?’
And then that sobering moment with a cup of tea whilst raiding the toilet training lolly jar…
‘Oh my, I really have become my Mum and everything I promised I wouldn’t .’
Motherhood and the transference of generational condition, is one of the most confronting and comforting parts of our early stages of being a mum.
I rethink all those thoughts of rebellion and refusal to settle as a teenager and begin to acknowledge that which she did just right.
The snuggly PJ’s every Easter as the summer nights, got a little colder with the autumn rain.
The sacrifices I never knew about so I could attend just one more dancing competition.
The 3am wake ups where she would night after night be found rubbing my legs as they cramped once again with growing pains.
The incessant worrying that we would grow up and discover every bright and beautiful opportunity available to us.
There is so much that my Mother did right, yet it has taken me decades to come to a place to gain enough perspective to see them.
I think in a lot of ways I have learnt lessons from my mother and implemented change, but at the same time reflected on her compassion and what she did beautifully and enjoyed bringing those traditions today to my own family.
I can happily admit that yes I am like my mother and it is now one of the greatest of compliments.
Generations of change.
Generations of beauty.
Generations of discovery.
Generations of wisdom.
Lessons from our mothers are cherished pearls of wisdom that often take decades of experience to rediscover their treasure.
Photos taken of Amanda and her family on her wedding day by Steve Fraser from stevefraser.co