From the time we are small we hear the cry, ‘I can do it myself.’ The urge to be independent is strong.
As we get older we still want to do things ourselves. As teenagers we rebel against authority and push against the restraints that teachers, parents and others put on us.
Even as adults, we push others away if they try and tell us what to do. Even if we don’t speak it out, the feeling grows inside.
I think it’s control we steer away from. Often we don’t mind support or help, it’s when that turns into control we struggle.
Can a person be totally independent? Do we really want to be? Often it’s a case of being defensive and of self-preservation when we say we can do life by ourselves.
We need others, but unhealthy dependence is not good either. To give up control of our life to another person may not be safe.
As women we need other women around us to be our friends, cheerleaders and confidants. Dependence on others for love and support is not weakness.
We need to develop that balance in our life. We need to be strong enough to make our own decisions, yet accept help and comfort from our friends and loved ones when needed.
Independent thought and action is great, but so is vulnerability.
We can be strong and confident as well as have a need for friendship and love. That doesn’t make us weak or needy or dependent.
As women, we need to be there for each other and provide a safe place for our friends to fall. We can’t control anyone, but we can be there when needed.
Friends are like walls. Sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it’s good just knowing they are there. ~Author Unknown